I get a call – the usual: “The computer is slow.”  After finding nothing wrong with the machine, the user states “this needs to be fixed now, the Internet is too slow.”

After 5 mins of listening to this…I finally stated: “Ms. the Internet is slow because you are too far from the power line. You’re not getting enough power to your computer. Her manager is standing right there, and he comments “Yes, I will submit the request to move you closer to the power line.”

8 months later and this employee still doesn’t have a clue; she still states that management “will not move her closer to the power line so her internet goes faster.”

Next one involving the same employee

Her: My keyboard is not working.

Me: Okay I’ll go ahead and replace it.

Her: ? what happens to everything I typed on that keyboard?

Me: What do you mean? Nothing will happen when I replace this.

Her: No sweetie you don’t understand. All my memory is in that keyboard, if you replace it how will it know what I have typed?

Manager: I’ll have the IT place the memory in the new keyboard for you.

Me: Following with his lead: “Yes I will get right on that. I won’t have anyone losing memory in this office!”

Gotta love it when the managers go in on the jokes.

via: [Spiceworks Community]