We get no respect: The Hospital Upgrade

Today was fun… As many of you know, I work in a hospital. Recently, a life-cycle exchange was done for about 35 old Dells we had in many of the offices and some of the ORs. In addition to scrambling to ensure a lot of functionality with contracted devices, my users decided to make the following comments/questions/concerns/demands over the last 2 days. With me, doing most of this alone, and pulling 12 hour days and having a cold. Today I know just about where my limit is for how much of this I can take…

  • “My mouse doesn’t work, I need an HD mouse cable.” -Senior leadership
  • “I need dual monitors NOW!” Me: “Uh.. might be a minute I have…” Them: “Don’t ask questions, she needs two screens to do her work, it’s the only way the program works (ಠ_ಠ).” I scrounge up some of my last immediately available spare cables and do the work, falling behind on the project. She proceeds to open her excel sheet on one side, her email on the other.
  • “I can’t log in! They say you can fix this!” Me: “Sir, there’s no PC there now, the keyboard isn’t attached to anything, let me hook this up for you (while carrying the machine to replace his empty spot.)
  • “I can’t get my other screen to work.” To his credit, I have no idea how he found a M/F VGA cable but I applaud the effort.
  • “I don’t have time for this, can you set this up for me?” PROCEEDS TO STAND BEHIND ME BULLSHITTING WITH ANOTHER SENIOR MEMBER WHILE I SET UP HIS OUTLOOK ARCHIVE.
  • “These PCs are so slow, I liked the old one.” These PCs have i7′s and 6gb of ram, compared the machine I pulled out with a 2.1 dual core processor and 3gb RAM. ಠ_ಠ
  • And it wouldn’t be a full shitstorm without this one… “Why can’t we get Macs?” ಠ_ಠ

So there you have it. Halfway through my day and I’ve had to resist the urge to tell 6-7 people to shove their head into an orifice of choice breathe deep. Most of them don’t mean to inflict the stress on me that they have, I understand, but at least listen to me when I say I’m doing my best to support 35 new PCs in 2 hours and I find your trivial demand stressful.

via: [Reddit\TalesFromTechSupport]
[Picture Source: Tourist on Earth (CC)]

You’re working on the system? “No, I’m working the system.”

So working for an ISP I get a lot of shit but this call stuck with me for some reason:

Me: Thank you for calling ISP, home of the Whopper, my name is jerrygofixit, how can I help you?

Customer: Yeah I got your internet service and I can’t get on wireless!

Me: Oh I’m sorry to hear that, one moment while I pull up your account.

I pull up her account and notice she has our “internet essentials” package, given to low income families that qualify for free school lunches for $9.95/mo, equipment included. In the notes it specifically states she was told it was NOT a wireless gateway but merely a modem.

Me: Ma’am, it looks like you have our essentials package, which does not come with a modem gateway[2], just a modem. If you need wireless you can pick up a router at a retail store for around $40.

Customer: But I was told it would come with wireless! How am I supposed to use this!?! $40 is like a thousand to me!

Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry but it’s internet essentials, its just basic internet so you and your family can get online without having to pay too much. No frills, no nothing, just basic internet. You can hook up your computer directly to the modem though, I can guide you through that, it will only take a minute.

Customer: Okay

Me: Alright great, what kind of computer do you have?

Customer: We have two iPads and 3 iPhones

Me: …

Customer: … … well?

Me: Ma’am we only support PCs and Macs. You’ll need to get a router.

That’s the abridged version, she mentioned several times that she was promised wireless and while I try to give customers the benefit of the doubt (because I know salespeople can be f#$king shady and deceptive as hell) the notes clearly stated she was well informed of this and internet essentials already comes with a free modem as well, not a damn gateway. Bitch can drive her damn Mercedes to Wally World and pick up a damn router.

via: [Reddit\TalesFromTechSupport]
[Picture Source = Nomadic Lass (CC)]

Brown Friday: Craigslist deal of the week

It’s that time again! Here is your Craigslist deal of the week. Snag yourself this smoking laptop before someone else does.

I am selling this laptop as is. It works but doesn’t come with a battery which you can buy one online for only $30.00 dollars. The faceplate by the touch pad is no longer on the laptop. I do still have the faceplate for the laptop and your welcome to have that with the laptop. The laptop comes with the power cord. The DVD drive doesn’t work either. Any Questions Text: 630-432-3375 or email me.

Asking 200.00 or best offer!

Spec:

Windows Vista Home Premium 32-Bit
CPU: Intel Core Duo T5550 @1.83GHz
Ram: 3.00GB
Graphic Card: Nvidia Geforce 8400M GS 128MB Dedicated Video Memory
Microsoft Office 2010 Installed

via: [craigslist]

An even better use for server racks

About 10 years ago, I was managing an office of stockbrokers and IT sent me a B-mail (remember Vines?) that I was going to get a package from UPS. Ok, no big deal. They ended up delivering a really large server rack with glass and keys and all the stuff my non-technical mind would think a server cabinet would have. Two days later, we got another rack. The next week, we got a really huge HP Kayak server. It’s a pc on steroids and doesn’t need a rack, much less two racks.

So, IT decided that I was going to be a “test office” for our new server since I called them the least amount of times with stupid questions, really, that was their logic. Who is going to install the server? Yup, me, the guy with the BS management degree. I asked what the cabinets were for and they said that policy was that all servers needed cabinets even if the server wouldn’t fit. So I put it on a desk and proceeded to follow the directions they b-mailed me. It was ugly. Really ugly. But it worked.

I asked about the massive glass server cabinets taking up space and now blocking our fire exit. Long story short they said get rid of them, a short visit to Craigslist later our office had one of the most amazing birthday party/coffee/booze after work budgets ever.