Winner: Outstanding Guru of the year!

From the Daily WTF comes another gem…

I made the mistake of giving my real email address to a headhunter I met at a local dev event. So now I get emails like this…

Hi Benjamin,

I am working with one of the best known media organisations in the world. 

They are truly successful, with over £2 billion of turnover each year. The
company is without doubt one of the flashest and coolest places to work.
The lead developer there is so skilled that he has been given numerous
awards for just being outstanding. 

He is a true luminary in his field and is without doubt one of the key
figures behind the company being one of the most profitable companies out
there. Everybody can learn from him, he is essentially the Dali Lama of
the iPhone coding world. You would be working alongside this guru in a
small team of carefully selected developers, hand picked for their coding
excellence and coolness. The project that you would be working on would be
predominantly iPhone native language based, but there may also be an element
of Ruby on Rails involved too. JSON experience is also desired. 

The guru has already built, single handedly an application which enables
all of the companies' famous magazines to be converted from PDF format to
the iPad with minimal extra work required for developers. The software
enables HTML pages to be added to add bonus pages etc. This already
extremely successful in the UK and is being rolled out across Poland and
Kiev shortly.

The company itself is one of the most fine places to work, minimalist
Scandinavian style offices with awards mounted in plexigass and titanium
frames upon the walls, a drink fountain serving the purest chilled spring
water fresh from the Malvern Hills. One has not lived until meeting with
this company, an environment in which they meticulously produce the finest
quality of code, as pure as the water which emanates from the stainless
steel spout of their drink dispenser. 

--- snip several paragraphs describing a tree in a nearby garden ---

Do get in touch immediately if you are interested in this most wonderful
opportunity. 

Sincerly,
Jerome F-------

I can’t wait to get started working for “The Guru” who has been given numerous awards just for “being outstanding”!

Reposted with permission from: [TheDailyWTF]

There’s Magic in the Air

It’s not bad enough that until I started working where I do now, I had no idea a USB plug would fit into an ethernet port.  Today I almost cried.

The office is getting a remodel, and when the maintenance guys removed the shelves from the back room, it uncovered the cable for the internet that was coming in from the ceiling and down the wall.  I figured they’d just build that into the new wall when it goes up.  As I’m leaving, I hear my boss say “We don’t need that anymore, do we?  None of our computers are connected to it, so we can just take it out,” she says to the head maintenance guy, and then calls to me in the front room, “Isn’t that right?  All our computers now get internet from the air?”

I’m really not sure how I got to this point, but the best explanation that got the point across was, “There’s a box on the end of that cable that puts the magic in the air, and if you get rid of the cable, the box can’t give us internet.” o_0 I’m so glad I hadn’t gone home for the day yet.

When you need help, simply close your eyes.

Sender encrypts and sends an email to outside recipient using Barracuda’s encrypted email service.

Derpcipient: I am unable to see what you sent below.  Can you tell me more about this?

Sender: I have to send them encrypted now. If you click on where it says “Click Here” it will allow you to create a user name and password.  Please let me know if you have problems.  Thanks.

Derpcipient: I have tried to enter a couple of different passwords and word with number combinations and it will not work for me.  Are there a number and character limit I have to have?

Sender: I actually just spoke with our IT department…they said all you need to do is follow the instructions below and there shouldn’t be a problem. They said if your password isn’t complex enough it will tell you. Good Luck!

DerpcipientIt does not tell me it just gave me a red stop sign.  That is why I wanted to know if there was a minimum character limit.  What I put in below was 7 letters and 4 other characters. Sorry to be such a pain.

Derpcipient: Just to let you know I did finally get a password.  You need up to 8 letters up to 4 numbers and 1 special character such as a dollar sign.  Sorry for being so dense but there was no instructions to help me so I felt a little lost on this one.  Thanks!

IT Commentary: If there “weren’t any instructions” how did you know that the password needed “8 letters, up to 4 numbers, and 1 special character such as a dollar sign?”   For the record, it is simply one special character in a password no less than 8 characters.  You know, like it says.  NEXT TO YOUR PASSWORD FIELD…

This happens all the time.