One button, two button, left button, right button

Clearly she’s never used a PC prior to purchasing this mouse. Buttons on a mouse tend to like decidedly like buttons…

So today I had a woman come in to my store looking for a mouse for her IMac. We don’t sell Apple mice, so she was going to have to settle for a compatible MS or Logitech mouse unless she wanted to drive 40 minutes and pay 3 times the price for an Apple one.

She decides on a cheap corded MS mouse that I specifically checked to make sure it was compatible with her machine.

30 minutes later, she’s back.

“It doesn’t work. I want my money back.”

“What do you mean, ‘It doesn’t work?’ It won’t do anything?” I asked.

“The cursor moves, but nothing opens when I click on it. Look, I’m not stupid. It doesn’t work. It must be incompatible with Macs.”

“It’s odd that the cursor would move, but the buttons wouldn’t work if it was incompatible. None of the buttons work?”

You could see the gears grinding…

“Buttons? It’s only got one button.”

“No, ma’am. That mouse has 3. Which one were you clicking?”

She insists there is only 1 button. “In the middle.”

She was clicking the fucking scroll wheel. I had to show her that there are buttons on the left and right, and that she would need to use the one on the left.

Jesus take the wheel… I don’t want to have to slap an old lady today.

Via: [Reddit]

Not so smart?

At a small IT firm in Sydney, Australia, there is one guy who likes to think he is the smartest in the room. So smart that everyone else is an incompetent idiot who almost needs permissions to even speak to him. As a result of this, every so often I prank him to give him the shi…err, bring him back down to earth.

There have been two highlights so far, the first was the “how to troll someones computer” found on geeksaresexy.net. This little prank is very easy to reverse at least for a smart guy like him right? However it confused him so much that he thought it was a virus/malware/trojan. When he went out of the office over an hour and  his computer magically fixed itself and by that I mean I was asked to undo the prank by others in the office who had enough of the complaining.

The second prank was a simple and classic prank, the old ‘pop and move some keys around on the keyboard which I did before leaving last night, specifically swap M and N around, G and H, and U and I. Today he arrived at work right on time whereas I was late (by design), first he thought something was done to his PC, then he thought his password has been changed, and try as he did, he couldn’t work it out and immediately jumped down my throat when I walked in 25 minutes later. The boss walked over to his desk at this point and with 20 seconds pointed out the keys were wrong on his keyboard. I got yelled at some more by the prankee and then because I’m assuming it was too hard for Mr Precious I had to undo my prank popping 6 keys off the keyboard and putting them back correctly. Still laughing.

Ah, it feels good to put people in their place from time to time. -Scott