My Dearest Amy…

Republished with permission from the Daily WTF:

I wouldn’t want to abuse our relationship with the Daily WTF, but this one was too good to pass up.

It seems that these posts regarding trolling gets a lot of laughs, so here goes.  At the Faildesk, we get emails like this all the time, but we never go so far as to develop a relationship with the sender of said emails…Alex, on the other hand, had some time.

Read on…

Like any website with a contact form, The Daily WTF gets its share of spam. In addition to saying the darndest things, spammers will often push SEO services with a message like this.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net 
Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 7:03 PM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: let's succeed together
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi,

My name is Amy Thompson and I would really love to tell you 
how thedailywtf.com can rank even better in Google.

I'm a SEO expert working at SEO Search Results and while doing
a research for some of my colleagues I found your email address and
decided to contact you immediately.

If you are interested I will be happy to send the additional 
information and all the details needed to make it happen.

Thanks a lot,

Amy
seosearchresults.net

 

Normally, I’d just ignore these emails. But this time – perhaps because I had one dram of scotch too many – I decided to respond.

From: Alex Papadimoulis 
Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 7:05 PM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: let's succeed together
--------------------------------------------------------------------

YES!!!!! LET’S SUCCEED TOGETHER!!!!!

 

I’ll admit, it wasn’t a very creative response, and most people wouldn’t respond to a message like mine. But then again, Amy isn’t like most people.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net 
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2012 2:00 AM 
To: Alex Papadimoulis 
Subject: Hello Alex Re: let's succeed together 
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hello Alex :) 

Thank you for getting back to me so fast, I'd like to tell you more 
about my previous email :) 

I have a beautiful website that I would like to show you: 
http://www.[redacted].com/ What I would like to do with you is actually 
placing a fresh page for your article with unique content that will 
speak about your site and will contain 2 or 3 links toward your site; 
1 link to the homepage and 2 more links that will be directed to 2 
different inner pages of your site. 

In return, I would like the same; that a new Article page will be 
created for me on your site. I would like to write a page what will 
speak about Safe Online Casino Gambling and place 2 or 3 links to my 
informational casino reviews site in the same method that is made 
for you; 1 link to the homepage and 2 more links to the inner pages 
of my site. 

have good PageRank :)

Thank you for your time and I'm looking forward for your reply,

 

If you visit the site Amy linked (don’t worry, it’s just a picture), I’m sure you would have responded exactly like I did.

From: Alex Papadimoulis
Sent: Sunday, July 01, 2012 4:29 PM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex Re: let's succeed together
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Wow, your website http://www.[redacted].com/ is beautiful like you 
said.

Is that you on the photo graph? You're pretty.

 

Amy replied with this a bit later.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net 
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2012 1:08 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: Re: Hello Alex  Re: let's succeed togethe r
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hello Alex  ,
Thanks for replying. Please make it clear if you would like the 
article so that I can send it to you asap. 

Thanks once again.

 

And to that, I replied with the first thing that came to mind.

From: Alex Papadimoulis
Sent: Tuesday, July 03, 2012 10:04 AM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex Re: let's succeed togethe r
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Dear Amy,

It's really hot out today. I'm hoping it rains, though.

Alex

 

I had to wait till the wee hours of the morning for Amy to respond to me again.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Sent: Wednesday, July 04, 2012 1:23 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: Re: Hello Alex Re: let's succeed togethe r
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

hi alex:)

 a strange reply. kindly let us know if you woudl like to work 
with us.

 regards
 Amy

 

Did you see that? She used a smiley emoticon!! And directly attached it to a lowercase alex!! Clearly, Amy likes me.

From: Alex Papadimoulis 
Sent: Thursday, July 05, 2012 10:40 AM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex Re: let's succeed togethe r
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Dearest Amy,

My bad, I meant to send that to another Amy who sent me an email as 
well. 

The other Amy's email was about the weather, and I think told her 
that I'm want to succeed together... which was probably very 
strange to her.

But yes I want to work together. Who should I send an invoice to?

Warmest Regards,

Alex

 

I thought it was over, and that I had lost Amy forever. But she wrote back a few days later!

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Sent: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 6:53 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis 
Subject: Re: Hello Alex  ARTICLE Right Site For Casino Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hi :)
Good day
Sorry for the delay.
As desired I am sending the article-Right Site For Casino Gambling 
You can download the article from this link and press the button" 
DOWNLOAD" : http://www.mediafire.com/?zgl5k2ukwdwotqj

Please let me know as soon as you publish and send the url and also 
send the links that you want us to publish.

Waiting for your reply:)
Regards
 amy

Unfortunately, Amy’s timing was  a bit off.

From: Alex Papadimoulis
Sent: Tuesday, July 17, 2012 2:25 AM
To: 'amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net'
Subject: RE: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

My Dearest Amy,

I am glad to see your email again. 

Actually, I am currently on a camping trip in the great plains near 
the Kansas-Nebraska border. It's very quiet here, but it's also very
pretty (like you), and I wish you were here to see it.  Maybe some 
day.

But... I will return home in a few days, and then I can publish the 
article you had put so much effort into making. I know my readers 
will love to learn about Casino Gambling!

Take care, I will reply to you as soon as I can.

Love,

Alex

But I just couldn’t stop thinking of her. So I sent her this, with pictures from Welfl@flickr.

From: Alex Papadimoulis 
Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 11:39 PM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
Attachments: for-amy1.jpg, for-amy2.jpg
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

My Dearest Amy,

I'm still on my camping trip in Kansas, but I was thinking about you
and took a couple of pictures to show you.

See what I mean, how pretty it is??

I'll write again when I get back in town.

Love,

Alex

 

Thankfully, it didn’t take her long to write back.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 4:16 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: Re: Hello Alex  ARTICLE Right Site For Casino Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hi Alex :-)

the picture is nice but now my webmaster wants to know how long 
will it take to publish the article.

Sorry to bother you on your holiday

regards
Amy

 

I felt bad for my dear Amy, getting hassled by her webmaster like that. But I had bigger problems on my plate… err, off it.

From: Alex Papadimoulis 
Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2012 10:48 AM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

My-Dearest-Amy,

I-have-finally-returned-from-my-camping-trip,-but-I-discovered-that-my-keyboard-has

broken,,,,,----I-spilled-some-maple-syrup-on-my-keys,-and-among-other-keys,-the-space

bar,-the-ecks-key,-and-the-dot-key-are-not-working,,,--and-my-password-has-these

characters-so-I-cannot-log-on,,,,---but-please-give-me-one-more-day-or-two,,,---and-I

will-post-this-wonderful-article-that-you-have-written-for-me,,,,----

I-hope-you-are-doing-well,,,---I-missed-you,-and-thought-about-you-on-my-trip,,,

Love,

Ale[cks]

 

Thankfully, My Dearest Amy didn’t forget about me and replied a few days later.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 7:52 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis 
Subject: Re: Hello Alex  ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hi :)
 Hope you are doing good. 

Kindly publish our article that I sent a few days back. I know you
must be terribly busy but we have put in a lot of effort in making 
an article for you and would like to see it get published. 

Also waiting for links from your side to complete the deal.

Regards:)
Amy

 

I could tell things were heating up. Note the TWO distinct smiley emoticons.

From: Alex Papadimoulis
Sent: Monday, July 30, 2012 10:04 AM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

My Dearest Amy,

Thank you for writing again!!! 

:-)

>3

;-)

After my maple syrup incident, I had to get a whole new computer. 
Before I threw away my old computer, I wrote down your email 
address... but I must have written it as ".com" not as ".net". 
So when I emailed you, it came back as "address not found" or 
some strange error.

That made me sad. I thought you didn't want to be my friend any
more, or maybe you went and got a restraining order on me. But 
you're here now, so we can put that behind us!!

So can you please once again send me this article? I wanted to 
post already, but it was on my old computer which is covered in 
syrup and won't turn on anymore.

Love,

Alex

 

asdfasdfasd

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 1:42 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: Re: Hello Alex  ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
Attachments: article.rtf
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hi Alex:)
Glad to hear form you.

Here is the article and please publish it asap as it is already 
delayed. thanks for your time and cooperation.

 

Finally, I could help my dear Amy!

From: Alex Papadimoulis (WTF) 
Sent: Tuesday, July 31, 2012 4:39 PM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

My Dearest Amy,

:-)

As promised, your article has been published!
http://img.thedailywtf.com/images/alexp/for-amy.rtf
I am sorry this took such a long time, but I'm excited it is finally 
done!

Now, as you promised, could you please send a picture of yourself to
me? Preferably, in an outdoor location with trees and/or grass.

Love,

Alex

 

I’m sure that you can imagine my excitement when I received a reply back later that evening.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net 
Sent: Wednesday, August 01, 2012 1:15 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: Re: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Hi Alex:)
 Great to see that you  published our article. but if you visit 
the page, you can see that the code is not working. 
 <a href =”http://www.premiere-casinos.com/”> top recommended 
casinos online.</a> It has to be pasted in the html code to 
make the link work. could you please see to it?
will send you a pic as soon as I have one

 Regards:)

But wait… no attachment!? Nothing, none? Maybe if I upload the article, she’ll finally send it as she promised…

From: Alex Papadimoulis
Sent: Friday, August 03, 2012 12:06 AM
To: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Subject: RE: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

My Dearest Amy,

I am still waiting on a picture from you :-(

You said that if I posted this article for you, then you would send 
me a picture. It is OK if you don't have one of you standing in 
front of some trees, but maybe one of you standing by an indoor 
plant would be nice. Or even a painting of a plant.

I did correct the article, it is posted over here: http://thedaily wtf.com/Articles/Re-Hello-Alex-ARTICLE-Right-Site-For-Casi-no-Ga mbling.aspx

Please my dear Amy, I really need the picture of you. I have been 
waiting so long now.

Love,

Alex

 

When I received a reply and didn’t see the paperclip attachment, I knew things weren’t looking good for Amy and I.

From: amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net
Sent: Friday, August 03, 2012 1:21 AM
To: Alex Papadimoulis
Subject: Re: Hello Alex ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

hi Alex
sorry but our article seems to be in a mess. You see it takes effort 
to write an article.Kindly correct it.
Regards

amy

 

And like that, I was left with no choice but to move on.

From: Alex Papadimoulis 
Sent: Tuesday, August 07, 2012 11:35 AM
To: 'amy.thompson@seosearchresults.net'
Subject: RE: Hello Alex :-) ARTICLE Right Site For Casi no Gambling
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Amy,

I did not want to do this over email, but I think I have to.

We need to break up. Our relationship has felt very one-way for a 
very long time, and I don't think we should be boyfriend/girlfriend
anymore. 

Take care,
Alex

 

To this day, I still think of the fond times that My Dearest Amy and I had together.

via: [The Daily WTF]

“You’re the computer guy. Isn’t this stuff what they’re paying you for?”

We have a new manager who insists on everything being done her way. And only her way.

Without going into too much detail…..we use a particular piece of software that is used by over 2000 companies in the country. Of course, not every company has the same needs, so the software company develops the software that will meet the needs of all 2000 customers as much as possible.

One of our reports is a weekly checkoff sheet, and the report gives five blank boxes….one for each day of the work week. The thing is….they’re not labelled MTWTF. Some companies use this sheet five times a day, and some companies have a work week other than MTWTF, along with a list of other uses this report could be used for.

Well our new manager was not happy that this did not automatically label the boxes MTWTF for her, and asked if I was able to generate the report with the boxes pre-labelled. I told her that that could not be done because the report is meant to be used in a variety of different ways.

So she asks me to reprogram the software and add the MTWTF labels. I tried to explain to her (a) I am not a programmer, (b) I do not have access to the source code even if I were, and (c) it would be illegal for me to do so anyway. She did not like this answer.

“You’re the computer guy. Isn’t this stuff what they’re paying you for?” she says.

“No, they pay me to troubleshoot and support the software. Not rewrite it. There’s a difference.”. I said. She of course continues to have absolutely no clue what that difference is.

I was then asked if I had contacted the vendor about this “major” issue, and I explained to her that the reports are specifically made that way because other companies use these checkoff sheets in a variety of different ways; pre-labelling the sheets MTWTF would screw up the companies that have a different work week or that use the sheet for a different purpose, and there’s no way the vendor could possibly program all the possible ways that 2000 different companies use the sheet.

“Well find a way to do it. This is completely unacceptable.”, and she stormed out of the room.

She doesn’t quite get the concept that (a) what she’s asking for is not possible, and (b) she’s not my boss.

I hate my job sometimes.

via: [Reddit\TalesFromTechSupport]

 

Spiceworld 2012 video: Zombies II

Posts have been sparse this week as I am at Spiceworld 2012, an annual user conference put on by Spiceworks…so, I apologize for that.  Scott has been super busy at work, so I have to put together these posts when I have time (i.e. when I’m done with the various post-session activities…eh, you know what that mean).

Anyway – for those of you who remember last year, Spiceworks started off Spiceworld 2011 with an uber-geeky take on zombies, bacon and IT.  It’s worth a watch…it has some nifty Nerf action, and a “frombie” (aka Nic from the Spiceworks Community).

This year, they are at it again with the sequel: Zombies II – presumably what happens 28 days after Kris and Knox’s first encounter with the IT zombies.

Check it out here:

Seriously tho’ – if you run a small to midsize network, I encourage you to try out Spiceworks – it’s an awesome solution for those of us who want to put together a help desk and inventory system on a shoestring budget.  I mean, they make videos like this, so they are pretty tight in my book.

I don’t normally endorse free awesomeness here on Faildesk, but when I do, I endorse Spiceworks.