Just another day at work today. I’m a tech support supervisor for a major video card manufacturer. So I get to deal with the escalated issues and SUPER FUN customers. We get scammers… and people threatening to sue for things that are their fault. The usual.
Had an exchange today that went something like this: (doing by memory, so not exact…)
Customer My graphics cards overheated and died. I took it out and everything works.
Tech Can you test another video card in the system or test the card in another system just to verify if the problem is the card?
Customer That’s ridiculous you’re just trying to make me jump through hoops.
Tech Ok sir, here is your RMA, here are the instructions.
Customer I don’t think an RMA will work. I already disposed of the defective part properly. Give me a replacement.
Tech I’m sorry sir but without an actual product to replace we cannot do an RMA. It stands for RETURN Merchandise Authorization. You would need to return your merchandise so we could replace it. If you had a computer shop dispose of this without your knowledge or consent you may want to contact them.
Customer No I threw it in the dumpster because it didn’t work. I can’t find it. Replace it.
Tech Sir, once again, without an actual product to replace we cannot do an RMA. (links to warranty terms)
Customer I talked to one of your reps there named Daniel E and he said I didn’t need to have a product to RMA. (There is no one by that name who works there). There is nothing that says you have to have the product to replace it.
Tech Sir no one by that name works here and that is not correct. There must be a product for it to be replaced.
Customer F$#K YOU THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. YOU GUYS ARE JUST TRYING TO SCAM ME, I’M GOING TO THE BBB TO REPORT YOU FOR MALICIOUS BUSINESS PRACTICES AND I’M GOING TO POST ALL OVER THE INTERNET ABOUT HOW YOU DON’T HONOR YOUR WARRANTY AND SCAM CUSTOMERS. I WILL TELL ALL MY MILLIONS OF FRIENDS TO NEVER BUY YOUR PRODUCTS. ELEVATE THIS CASE TO YOUR UPPER MANAGEMENT.
- Manager calls and speaks with customer and also leaves an email. Explains the exact same thing all the techs have been saying. Thinks case is closed.
Customer (emailing back in 2 days later) – it’s been 3 days I haven’t heard anything. What the f$#k is wrong with you idiots?
Me responding Hello sir, I see our manager followed up with you 2 days ago. As mentioned by all the previous techs, unfortunately without an actual product to replace we cannot honor the warranty. If you are able to locate the product please let us know.
Customer This is bullshit I am pressing charges. F$#K YOU MOTHERF$#KERS
Me I’m not so sure that would hold up very well in a court of law, sir. If your car had a problem, and instead of taking it to the manufacturer for warranty repair/replacement, you took it upon yourself to have the car crushed and shredded for scrap metal. Would you then demand that the car company replace the car? Feel free to look over our warranty terms and condition – link. If you are going to continue making threats and cursing then I will be ending this conversation.
I normally don’t get smartass with customers like that, but we were going in circles with this guy and he had wasted hours and hours of our techs time and was just not getting the point. I had also been dealing with similar retards all day so I was just not in the mood to play games.
via: [Reddit\TalesFromTechSupport]
Picture Source: [Niels_Olson (CC)]
Enjoyed this all the way to the end, until you called them “retards,” which is a VERY derogatory word and completely de-classed your entire post. Faildesk Editors: please use more discretion when posting and perhaps edit out this type of harsh, hateful language.
Having done a fair amount of “support” work myself, I find the word “retard” to be dead on.
re·tard/riˈtärd/
Verb:Delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment.
Have to agree. Also, the term “retard” or “mentally retarded” is no longer going to be in the DSM as the proper terminology for individuals with slowed mental development as of DSM-V. The DSM-IV term “Mental Retardation” will be replaced with the term “Intellectual Developmental Disorder” in the DSM-V. And, don’t forget, the terms imbecile, idiot, moron, etc. have all had the exact same connotations in the past. If you are going to get offended by the use of the word “retard” at the end, at least get offended by the uses of the word “idiot” throughout the rest of the passage.
If your company had any sense, official policy would be, once the customer says he’s going to sue, that the only response allowed is “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. If you’re going ot sue us, I’m no long allowed to talk to you. All future communications must be through our lawyer. Here’s his contact info, and he’ll want all communications in writing. If you contact us in any other way, you’ll be served with a restraining order.”
Of course, this only works if it’s not a bluff.
lol @ “disposed of properly” = “threw it in the dumpster”