I work in a school. So I get a LOT of stupid questions, from staff and students. Just recently I’ve put up the classic “If the helpdesk thinks your question is stupid they will set you on fire” sign. Here are a few of the questions that had me reaching for the matches.

Disclaimer: I generally exclude first years and the SEN department from my stories, my stories only include people who really should know better.

“I need you to set up 300 user accounts for exam conditions and copy these 20MB of documents into each one, can you do that for [5 minutes from now]?”

“Which room is ‘room 20 printer’ in?”

User: “I can’t log on.”  Me:”Ok, I’ll reset your password to ‘Welcome1′”  User: “… was that my username or my password you changed?”

“I’ve printed this document 5 times and it just keeps saying ‘out of paper’ what should I do?”

“The freeview box keeps making noise and I don’t want it to, what should I do?”

This one is all too common…

User: “My computer won’t work!” Me: “whats wrong with it?” User: “This box came up saying ‘reboot now’ and ‘reboot later’ so I clicked ‘reboot now’ and my computer restarted!”

“I tried to ring you on your office phone but it was engaged, so I rang you on your mobile # and you didn’t answer!”

*oh, what a fool I was giving THAT out.

“Can I have a cable for my new wireless network card?”