I had one customer want me to come over on Christmas Eve. Fortunately I was going out of town so they had to settle for 8AM the day after Christmas. “People, what a bunch of bastards”
Oh Lord, how I hate this one. Especially today.
Mother’s Day Sunday, phone rings and it’s a client I literally haven’t heard from in 3 + years. (Just checked my last invoice, I fixed her computer on June 18, 2008.) She’s apparently having problems and would like some help.
Her: Hey, since you were the last one to fix my computer, I thought I’d call you to see if you want to come out and fix it again for me?
Me: I’m sorry I don’t do PC repair anymore on an ongoing basis. You could try HerpDerp, (Friend that I know does this stuff) He’s really good.
Her – bitchyness factor +3: But I need it fixed today!
Me: You do realize it’s a Sunday, right… and that it’s Mother’s day to boot… right?
Her – bitchyness factor +5: That’s why I need it fixed today!
Me: I’m sorry, even if I was still doing that stuff, I wouldn’t be able to help you today as I have many other family activities planned.
Her – bitchyness factor +11: But you were the last one to touch it. It’s your fault it doesn’t work! YOU MUST COME TODAY AND FIX IT!
Me: Actually, YOU were the last one to touch it, I haven’t touched it in over three years. Given that you’ve had no other issues in the past three years, I’d say your odds of pinning this on anything I did are slim and none, I’ll not take any implied threat that your issue is my problem. Try calling HerpDerp tomorrow, I”m sure he can help you. – click.
text to Herp Derp: Your phone’s going to ring in a few… probably from ###-###-#### don’t answer until tomorrow…